Day 18, Life beyond ICU

Good Morning All,


Toren had a great night's sleep last night... his first full night's natural sleep. He had a really good day yesterday. He learned how to manage walking with the walker, and got stronger and more steady each time we took a lap around the unit. Toren is being so mellow... hard to imagine, but he is very very tired. His body and mind have been through so much it is incredible to me how strong he is, Thank God he is young and determined.

All the frightening intensity of ICU living are behind us, and we would like it to stay there, although I am very grateful for all that was done to get us to this point, ICU living is disorienting at the very least.



Yesterday Toren had a speech/cognition/memory evaluation, while there have been significant losses, there is every reason to believe that with therapy, support and patience he will regain those skills. We know the road we are on, it is familiar territory, with a slightly different view point, and while it can be a bumpy road, we know that we are going to get lots of encouragement and help from our friends and family, as well as the skilled professionals along the way.


The challenges of post ICU hulluscinations also seem to be behind us, there is no more floating, or driving trucks in the middle of the night, or spider webs all over the room, and that for me is one of the most challenging phases of early recovery. It is hard to know which one of us is further from reality, it is easier for me to acknowledge what he is seeing than try to convince Toren that it is all in his head, plus it provides relief from the boredom of hospital life. It is thrilling that Toren is 4 days without a grand mal seizure, which makes us think that the new meds are kicking in and doing their job, and that the brain in settling after all the trauma of the past two weeks.

Yesterday while Helaini spent the evening we 3 played catch in the room - oh yes we now have a new room, with morning sunshine and it is a single so we don't hear anyone else - our own bathroom... and when Toren woke late this morning the sun was pouring onto him... he looked so cosy and comfortable, for a moment I could pretend that we were in Hotel Albany Med... and then of course the nurse - a sweetheart - came in with meds, and reality took over. Still compared to last week this really is just fine.

He looks tired and pale now, the little things that we barely consider are great achievements. A walk around the unit, like running a half marathon... which is progress, the day before yesterday it was like a full marathon. Eating, is exhausting... just juggling the spoon to the mouth requires so many small adjustments and muscles and attention... So today while you enjoy something to eat, dont just bless the food, the farmer, the land... take the time to notice the parts of your body involved in moving food from the plate to your mouth, the bones, the muscles, the hand/eye co-ordination. From this vantage point, life gets simpler, blessings become more easy to recognize, and yes everything can been seen as a curse or a blessing, the trick for me, for Toren, and most probably for all of us it to keep shifting our focus, and tune our hearts and minds into blessing seekers.
We can use the cell phone here in the room, so feel free to call. It would be lovely to start to have visitors, which would entertain Toren, I think he will bore of my company quickly. So starting to schedule visits would be a wonderful thing.
Marvin is going to start sleeping here some nights, which will give me a chance to get things organized for our return. We are anticipating going to a rehab facility early in the week, and then it would be lovely to think of being home before Channukah, all things with God's help.
We send you our love and our deepest appreciation for your part in our lives.

Your notes, continue to carry us forward on this journey - it keeps the outsider world present for us, reminding us of the rich full lives that await us beyond this part of the journey.